where do babies come from?

I worked with 3 year olds yesterday and found that from this experience, I have discovered 4 profound truths.

1) Children that are 3 are often much whinier, more stubborn, and less self sufficient (as in a poop in the pants episode from yesterday. No, I won't even tell you.) than children that are 4. It is much harder to get them to do what you want them to do because they are still stuck on the word "No" and think that it makes everything in the world start going their way. i.e. "[little girl's name], it's time for a nap, please lay on your mat and rest your body." "No! ... I don't waaaant to" Well bummer for you kid.
Unfortunately for them, that doesn't fly so well in my world.

2) I have met the smartest child, I am convinced, that I will ever meet. She sat down and read the class a book about dragons and castles. The other children "read" it as in, turned the pages, said something like, "Then there was some green gooey stuff and they gots it all on themselves. And the horse was grey" and then giggled and turned the page the wrong way so we started over again. She read every freaking word. Read it. Children at 3 can usually tell you how to spell their first name, sometimes can't remember their last name, and can count up to 14...on a good day, 20.
My jaw dropped as she flawlessly and without hesitation read the entire book. Better than some 3rd graders I know. Which is almost 3 times her age by the way. She read the word "drawbridge" for crying out loud. Yea, I'm still floored.


3) One of my new favorites was telling me a story about babies and cats. It was fantastic to get a peek into his little mind and see how things connect. And it was hilarious. This is what he told me (insert some looking at the ceiling and deep breathing as he tries to find words periodically)

"Miss Heidi, I don't have a cat but uh but one time my mom got in a wedding and then I got in her tummy and then I came out and we had 1 cat and then my mom got in a wedding again and got [sister's name] in her tummy and then she came out and we didn't have a cat then. But now when we get a big house I'm going to have 2 dogs and 2 cats [holding up two fingers on each hand] and you can come over and two more friends for my birthday. It's almost my birthday and we're going to have cake. And you can come over and play with my dark knight in my room."

By the way, it's not that his mom has been married twice, this is just how he thinks you get pregnant. Something that his parent's told him got translated in his little mind and this is now the logical answer to where babies come from. And maybe cats too?

So cute. He also showed me a scratch on his wrist and told me that it was ok because God would heal it when he went home.

4) Calling someone a baby is the worst insult you can conjure up. Even worse than "poop head" shockingly enough. You have no idea how many times I heard some little girl (and a few boys) come up to me and sob, "Miss Heidi? He-e-e-e called me a Ba-a-a-by!" Sniff sniff, bury their head on my shoulder.
Surely the world is at an end.

Well, I have come away, sore from squatting and bending, with more patience, and with greater enlightenment than when I began. Thank you 3 year olds.

I think I need some cookies now.