the curious incident of the dead dog in the ... daytime?

i am currently in hiding from my kitchen and washer/dryer.

let me tell you, it's much easier to hide from the washer/dryer since it's behind a closed door. you really only have to tiptoe when you pass the doors so that it doesn't try to burst out and grab you, forcing you to do yet MORE laundry, folding, and ironing.

the kitchen is a trickier bit though. mostly because it's ... right ... behind ... me. but i've found that i can just get up from the computer, and take two left side-steps without turning around to make eye contact and be ok. getting back to the computer/table is much more difficult to make look casual as i would have to walk into the room backwards. i tried it once doing kind of a dance and humming some obscure tune so that the backward walking looked purposeful, but i don't think i can pull that off too many times.

the other problem seems to be, i'm hungry. i have some bread, eggs, and cheese waiting to be made into a sandwich, but i'm afraid of passing the clean dishwasher. it's sure to break my shins this time. and once i'm in there, that kitchen will make me do all kinds of cleaning. and then i will feel guilty about my abhorrence to taking out the trash (public garbage is The Worst - i'm positive i have anthrax, mad cow disease, or radioactive garbage liquid on me every time i have to open that lid) which will also lead to taking out the bathroom and bedroom trashes, (so that i am making the most of the horrid trip) which means i will have to put new bags in each, which will take me right back to the kitchen.

and then the kitchen will force me out the door to the market. then all fun stops. errands have begun, slacking time is officially over and i have to make a solid game plan for Dinner Time.

HOoly MolY. someone just dropped something in front of our screen door from the second floor. sounded like a folding chair, but there is now mysteriously a small dog thing running around in a zig-zag pattern. weird. i can't believe he's alive in the first place, much less that he survived the fall.

i heard my upstairs neighbor, just moments ago, vacuuming the begeezus out of her living room and a small creature that sounded like they might think they are a dog but are in fact a glorified hamster, barking and squealing. i envisioned the worst, naturally, and i can't say that i was too saddened by it. those dog things creep me out. i'm always afraid their eyes might pop out or they'll projectile pee from the sheer fright of a falling leaf or some such similar horror.

well the dog incident may have distracted me momentarily, but the hunger is back, so i'm afraid i cannot skirt the kitchen issue any longer. maybe if i close my eyes and make my sandwich, everything else will leave me alone. not likely, but better than trying to come up with another backwards dancing tune.

wish me luck