The new normal. And such.

The other night, after both kids had been tucked into bed, I found myself rediscovering the show Scrubs. I don't know whether or not you're a fan, but for me it brings back some great memories of college. Two of my dearest friends and I would spend hours of our free time hanging out at each other's apartments watching that show and eating junk. These are friends that I now am lucky to see and catch up with maybe once a year.

After watching a few episodes and chuckling to myself, I turned off the tv, washed the remaining dishes left out after dinner, and absentmindedly picked up some toys scattered on the rug. A Lego car, a teething toy, and a super hero or two. All of a sudden I found myself staring at the toys and thinking how bizarre it was to be transported one moment back to my college days, probably just started dating Scott,  putting off (then moaning about) studying for midterms that started 3rd week - and now here I was, not terribly far in the future, picking up my kid's toys like it was nothing. Kids. There's more than one.

How am I old enough to have children (again with the plural)? This led me to thinking about both those squirts and just how big of a chunk of your heart they take up. We have more than just a few friends that are either trying, struggling, or are unable to have children of their own. We were a couple, not too long ago that were bracing for that reality ourselves and yet God heals and has His own plan.

Sometimes I am a classic mom in a cliche moment. Evan woke up on the wrong side of the bed and is an emotional basket case, Charlie just squeezed a Pouch all over the floor, and I have to take a few deep breaths before I decide not to put them out on the curb. Those are not necessarily the moments that the words "lucky" or "blessed" come to mind. Then there are the quiet moments of bliss when they both are snuggling in my arms as I read them a story, or Evan is squealing in delight as Charlie-a-saurus and I chase him around the house, or they spontaneously show me affection.  And then I think, I do not recognize how very precious these darlings are often enough.

It's then that you weird then out by smothering them in hugs and kisses, tell them over and over that you love them and they try to wiggle away because they think you're playing "too many kisses" (yes, that's a game in our house).

Bottom line/point of the story: 1) Give your kids a squeeze and remember that you are blessed. 2) I feel old. 3) Scrubs is a fun show.